A New Day

Today was a good day. I'm not sure why exactly, but something seems different. I'm really trying to focus on me. Not selfishly, but really putting me out in front. I need to keep reminding myself to do this. I left on time today at work. This is a huge feat by itself really. I planned to work out tonight, but instead went to cheer on some coworkers at a kick ball game (very amusing, actually). I was only able to do this because my husband is still traveling. Otherwise he would have given me a guilt trip. It got me thinking that I might want to do this more often. I'm not sure how that might go over! I've thought of a few more items for the lists, so I'll add those as well. I really feel like this is a start of something... We'll see.

LIST 2: The Little Things

A list of the little things that may get overlooked. Stop and smell the roses kind of things. Things that I really shouldn't take for granted, and may have lost sight off. Those kinds of things. Let's try for 100 of these as well. As of 10/4 I have 5... this is a problem. (Update: 10/6... I'm up to 6!)

1. The stupid and ridiculous songs my husband sings about me to me
2. How much my husband loves our dogs
3. That my husband goes grocery/clothes/shoe shopping with me, always
4. Our 3 dogs
5. Waking up to puppy nudges on the weekends
6. Great coworkers

The Next Day

I woke up this morning with this thought that the blog was a fleeting idea and my whole being wanted to move on to the next thing.  Why do I do this?  ALWAYS!!  My husband never believes me when I say I'm going to do something, and rightfully so!  He's always right.  There are my goals of  1. Get into awesome shape, 2. Run a 5k, 3. Compete in an adventure race... the list goes on!  Even small things like recovering the outside cushions.  I even signed up for the adventure race, bought trail running shoes, subscribed to adventure race magazines and websites.  Told EVERYONE this was my goal!!  Yep, that lasted about 2 weeks.  For the darn cushions, I bought all the fabric and thread....It's been sitting on the dining room table, along with the cushions, for about 3 weeks.  My husband has stopped asking when these will get done, because he know when.

I am going to persevere.  I am going to do this if it is the only damn thing I actually follow through with.  And in  doing so, I know the pages will come to me and I might even start following through with some other things!  Well, let's not get too ambitious just yet.

LIST 1: Things I Want to Do/Accomplish

I believe these will pave the way to finding my missing pages. I hope so at least. My goal: To list 100 things I want to do or accomplish. As of 10/3/09, I'm at 22. (Update: 10/6, 24)

1. Post once a day (no matter what) for 1 year
2. Focus on working out at least 3 times a week
3. Learn to cook (for real)
4. Become a better person
5. Sing Karaoke (for real)
6. Learn to play piano
7. Learn to play guitar
8. Grow a vegetable garden
9. Stop procrastinating
10. Take cooking lessons
11. Join a group
12. Get a Past Life Regression done
13. Stop drinking pop
14. Be nicer to people
15. Finish a book (it's been awhile)
16. Run a marathon (or half marathon)
17. Run a 5k
18. Complete an adventure race
19. Find my soulmate (which, by the way, I don't believe is always your life partner)
20. Learn sign language
21. Do one random act of kindness each week
22. Appreciate the little things more (see List 2)
23. Learn Japanese
24. Try out for a local musical

List of Lists

To search for those missing pages of my own choose your own adventure book while focusing on ME, I'm going to have to create some TO DO LISTS. My start-something-and-never-finish-issue, could start rearing it's ugly head here. I need to create some deadlines around these or I'm never going to get to where I need to be!!

First off, a list of the lists!

1. Things I want to do/accomplish
2. The little things (to appreciate more)
3. Things in my head, I really need to get out of my head

Ok. That was short and sweet.

How did I get here?

For starters, I'm not really expecting anyone to actually read this. I'm thinking that this more of a therapeutic tool to help me through what I really hope isn't a midlife crisis at 32 years old!! Good lord. I have a lot of things in my head, and if I don't get them out, I think I'm going to go crazy. Seriously, the more I watch Obsessed on A&E the more I think I'm nuts.

So I guess this starts with a work assignment and continues with the movie "Julie and Julia". Pretty random, huh? The work assignment, write a letter from yourself 15 years from now on where you'll be from a career/work/family/community perspective. Sounded easy... not so much. I mean, easy in that sure, anyone can write up where they think they will be in 15 years. My problem was all of the thinking I was doing leading up to the writing. I'm like a choose your own adventure book (which I loved as a child) with missing pages. Not really sure where to go. The one thing that stood out was that no matter what path (adventure) I choose, I need to start making ME a priority. That was a common theme.

Flash forward a week, watching "Julie and Julia" by myself while my husband is away on business. A find myself watching this movie and two things pop out at me.

1. Julie's all about creating a deadline for her project because she never finished anything. [This is me... we'll get into detail about that later].
2. Julie's life is not fulfilled. She's married, has a job (although not a very successful one) and is in search for something more. [I actually have a pretty good job but I'm lacking something... it's in one of those missing pages].

So here I am, stealing the idea right out of the movie, blogging for the first time ever. Again, I really don't think anyone is actually going to read this, but what the hell. So my goal and blog theme, I guess, is focusing on how to make me a priority, while trying to actually finish something I've started on my way to finding that "something more" I'm looking for. How in the world am I going to do that?